ANIMAL

I walk in this foreign world,
there are sounds like the howls I'd heard
in a distant place I called my home
before two thousand years of being alone...

I'm still just an animal
learning to become human,
I'm still just an animal
trying to fit in,
I'm still just an animal, inside,
searching for a family,
someone to stick by my side,
force my strength to root me here,
teach me how to be alone.
I seek for a place to call my home!

~~~

I walk in this foreign world
and hunt few people to be my herd,
a pack, a pride, to be my guide
fight for me and stand by my side.

I've been treated like an animal
and worst is when it's by a man
so if I do not trust you and won't strip
it's not cause I do not love you or hiding
I'm just shy, afraid but I do no wrong
against any laws or creatures born.

I'm still just an animal
learning to become human,
I'm still just an animal
trying to fit in,
I'm still just an animal, inside,
searching for a family,
someone to stick by my side,
force my strength to root me here,
teach me how to be alone.
I seek for a place to call my home!

DESCRIPTION:

Selisi Rigow: This song is supposed to be the explanation to most of my mistakes I make, my strange behavior sometimes, being hurt about some things others say and they don't understand why, hurting others in some ways... I didn't want, mean or think I would hurt anyone, and if I did it was because I just didn't know how you are used to act and why. I am sorry. Please understand me and explain to me how things go in this human world.

Growing up, for a long time I've felt alone in a way, not supported at all, not defended, not safe, not accepted... not loved enough. I mostly had no friends, I didn't accept most of the kids, because I've been seeking for something special and good and I've also preferred adults, being more capable of being real friends and talking about smart things.

I was very lucky to find a few really good friends in the end. It's hard to find even one but I have them now and I feel good already.

~~~

This song was finished mostly for the police team on the Serbian-Croatian border. (I'm often driving through there.) One time that I was passing through during night they really made a huge mistake believing I was carrying drugs, and I was suspicious because I was tired and got upset in conversation just between the two police parts. My friends and pretty much everybody who knows me even a bit, know that I am a vegetarian (exactly for the reason it hurts me even to think of harming others), that I always try to save animals that I find hurt or sick, even dying, that I don't drink or smoke, and have never tried drugs, I never stole a thing in my life...

They told me to get out of the car and took me in a private room to check me telling me they were just "doing their job"... Partially because of my bad past and because of my nature of being very shy this experience was such a huge abuse, nothing better, every detail of it played in my mind for the next week on and on, and for the next few months, every single time I crossed the border with my car locked and windows closed as much as possible and as soon as I would get released out I would cry without stopping for at least one hour. Every single time. This is why I finished this song hoping the police could hear it and understand. I have an idea - that people who are really certain to be good should be spared from these things, they should be marked in a way that it's safe for them to live.